As we all know artists are most critical of our own work, myself included. I have been contemplating entering a show called Continuum. It is a big deal Art Show to all the local artists. I have entered before, and wasn't juried in. That left me with lots of anxiety. I know the painting I submitted wasn't spectacular and I understand the reasoning of not juring me in, I know in my brain it wasn't one of my better works, but I was still upset, That emotion comes rushing back every time I want to submit to this or any other show. It is a fear of not being accepted.. This is a very uncalled for fear, but none the less a fear. I have a great support system in my husband and family. They always give me the encouragement to continue in my show endeavors. I knew that this show was coming up to apply, and I was determined to paint some new BIG pictures. I was going on a vacation and thought it would be a perfect time. Gary would have his sports and I would have my paintings. I did paint, and paint and paint....but I didn't think these new paintings were big enough or good enough. So in my studio one early morning I was determined to paint exclusively for this show.. I did, but that fear was right there along side my creativeness.... how dare it. I look back and I think that fear is what STOPPED my creativeness. I didn't think any of my new paintings were good enough.. The submission date was near, it was even delayed due to the Hurricame Matthew. The reminders of the upcoming deadline, kept coming, in email form, notices on my calendar, and my fear just kept building. So I made a decision, It wasn't the correct decision, but I had freed myself from the anxiety and fear. I wasn't going to submit so there......
Whew.....that anxiety went away. In its place came a different feeling......not even sure what to call this feeling. Gary asked me if I submitted, I said I'm not going to. He seemed disappointed, again he rallied to my support. Why? You have been a painting machine, and you are not submitting? What do you have to loose? $25.00 I weakly replied. Are you serious? After all that work you did? JUST DO IT!!!! So I ignored him and his encouragement. I wasn't going to submit..........
Now I know what thie next feeling was...GUILT.... Now even though I was starting the above paintings, I knew I had to submit......just had to.......So I did.......I opened an account with Cafe, (an online submission web site.) I, a few minutes I opened account, added my profile, uploaded my jpegs, and paid my $25.00. I had the BEST feeling now....a feeling of accomplishment! Best feeling.
Results of the judging will be a nail biting wait, but that accomplishment feeling is better than all those negative ones. If I am judged in I will feel ecstatic, if not I still feel accomplished.
Does any one else feel these good and crazy feelings? Just know we sensative artistic people are able to create, submit and sometime reach those big and even small goals. This is one of the three I submitted. I am showing you the photo of it matted and framed. (the reflection is from the glass). I submitted the raw art.
Never give up on yor dreams.
Some of my Art is on display with the Women in the Visual Arts at the Armory., go see if you can find it amongst some other talented Artists.
Be happy the elections are over and so are all those awful commercials.....be glad we have a President, no matter who it is, or who you wanted., be supportive. Don't forget try some thing new with your art and create, Next week I will discuss my decisions about my next show at the Armory and my many booth decisions....made with help from all of you....THANK YOU !!! tip next week.....